Since the beginning of 2009 my life has changed tremendously. This is when I finally took the step towards my career path by investing a lot of time and effort into my courses as well taking advantage of numerous opportunities like the American Marketing Association and internships. Everything that I have experienced and all that I have accomplished from that time until now have really shaped me into the person I am today.
Today, my very productive, confidence-boosting, “I can’t be stopped” 17 month time frame has come to an abrupt halt as CVS declined me for a summer internship in their Media Department. It goes without saying that interning full-time with a Fortune 18 company yields numerous opportunities for experience and networking, as well as a tremendous resume addition. I’ll admit I am disappointed; I’m missing out on a great opportunity. Sure I was one of over 500 applicants, narrowed down to 50 or so who got interviewed, sure they sent a nice rejection e-mail me with words like “impressed, outstanding, diligence, you should be proud! and competition was fierce!”, and sure at the very least I gained interview experience as I had three of them back-to-back-to-back…but I wasn’t selected.
It’s like coming in second in the big race and getting the silver medal. There are times you’d rather be fourth or fifth because you weren’t that close to the prize. Losing closely sometimes hurts more than losing by a lot. Anyone who knows my attitude toward competition in any form knows I don’t want the consolation prize; I play to win.
The confidence I exude on a regular basis is now against its first real test. I have no problem displaying confidence even if it’s not all there on the inside because that’s how you should present yourself in any situation. However, it’s easy to act like this when everything is pretty much going your way. It’s easy to quote cute little sayings to your friends in an effort to boost their self-esteem and confidence when you are experiencing smooth-sailing yourself. Is it just as easy to stand by my words when I finally stumble? It’s time for me to walk the walk after a real big rejection.
To all my friends who I ever said “don’t worry about it” to after they received a bad grade or didn’t get a job, and to everyone who I told to “keep trying” or said “so what, do it again” when they failed in some way, and to anyone who has heard me say “no big deal, move on”, when it really was a big deal – this is your proof that I too, don’t always succeed.
Will that stop me? Nope.